Why Did You Go to College?

Why did you go to college? My subconsciousness sent me to college because I stuck my fingers into everything, and wanted to touch and destroy everything. It thought that keeping me busy would likely save me from being molested by this old lady (I think she is a farmer):

Figure 1: "You're next, buddy"

If your sense of danger does not ever fully kick in after you are born, your brain is then likely to develop missing this function throughout the entire life. Could this theory explain some apathetic and perhaps even artistic approach of some people to the topic of their own death?

Autobiography - Who am I?

Let's rewind waaay back! In the reverse logarithmic time progression, it basically goes like this: college->odd hobbies->love->odd hobbies->immigration->odd hobbies->childhood->odd hobbies->birth)

Today, I had a final exam for the mind-twisting electrical engineering course called the Electromagnetic Waves. Even though my average mathematical abilities have had a negative effect on my grades in this calculus- and physics- centered course, now I know how to use light to cut stuff up with unprecedented precision and minimal amount of energy loss. It is epic.

About a week ago, I finished writing a final proposal draft for our senior design project that will be executed next semester.

A month ago I had a really nice Thanksgiving holiday break with my family.

Half a year ago, I started my internship at Samsung Electronics, where I learned the true potential of computer processing power (versus the human processing power). This was achieved by working on a text-based machine learning algorithm (this project is incomplete - check my Projects page for any updates as well as the open-source code).

A year ago, I was working on a differential steering algorithm (see Projects page), which was completed and produced the results identical to the theoretical model.

Two years ago, there was some sort of modification or reorganization in the way I interpret life. I was no longer afraid of death or failure. I started to try living life as if the last day of my life was very near.

Four years ago, I decided to study Electrical Engineering.

Eight years ago, it was unbearably frustrating being bullied in school for simply not knowing how to speak English.

Sixteen years ago, I was about eight or nine. My curiosity led to a third electrocution accident. This one led to a temporary full-body paralysis which lasted an hour or so, followed by a limp-limb fun for the next twelve hours. Motor-control circuit (cerebellum) and other parts of the brain sustained a significant damage. It seems that most of the functional abilities were naturally repaired.

Twenty four years ago -- I was born.

Input Ramen Noodle Soup, Output High Power Laser Beam.

I don’t really want to go to a graduate school. The thing is that the graduate school is based on the same flawed system of reward and punishment methodology as is the undergraduate. I think that looking at the current state of our employment and education system and the challenges it is faced with, it appears that in the future I would only work for money to sustain the basic survival needs. The actual work of my life will be on the side, for fun, to see how far the limit of science and engineering can be stretched with the minimum amount of resources in my possession. The system of GPA has a flaw that unintentionally destroys the very thing it was designed to create and protect: the motivation to achieve.

How?

Back in December of 2009 I started working on a project to design a differential steering algorithm from scratch and test it on an custom-built hardware unit. The ambitious goal was to allow it to navigate on the uneven extraterrestrial terrain and thus perhaps help allow cheap robotic extra-planetary exploration possible. It barely held together mechanically, and had a couple of enormous bugs hanging out in the code, but it taught me something one can neither learn in school nor can find in the book. I documented the progress at http://newmech.blogspot.com/2010_07_01_archive.htm, but then college kicked my ass.

Nowadays I don’t have time to work on the projects that I want to work on at all. I learn a great deal at school, but not as much as if school dedicated at least 50% of my time to work on whatever projects I feel are important.

Why?

There are quite a few challenging, relatively cheap, and quite very useful projects on my list that sit idle with little to no progress. This is no bird house building step-by-step stuff. Some of the projects require some formal exposure to the study of electromagnetic properties of materials, optics, electronics, programming, and high-level mathematics.

Random Project.

For example, today we have no cheap and portable rapid prototyping systems available to the regular citizens like you and me. A high power infrared laser sources are quite cheap these days, so one of the next projects would have to include high-power laser cutting applications. A 5 watt infrared laser diode can be purchased for less than a hundred bucks. If done properly, a single diode can quickly cut through most hard plastics and even some metals.

To me, electromagnetism is interesting, profitable, and above all, useful. I believe that the future will be dark and expensive without advancement and improvement of the high power laser technology. I know that a whole lot more research in this field is necessary in order for us to begin the era of truly automated gadget manufacturing and asteroid mining (an infinite number of applications).

When I get my undergraduate degree within this Spring, I will finally be able to work on these. What I hope to gain from the huge chunk of my life devoted to the study of the electromagnetism is important to me. As the popular TV commercial proudly announces, "there are some things money can't buy...".

Страх из будущего

Все вещи которые были мне дороги, ода за другой просто как-то исчезли из памяти. А может быть их даже и не было. Кого моя память запрятала в чёрный сундук далёкого и тёмного уголка этого мозга? Стоит ли нам заглядывать в наше прошлое, где спрятаны вещи способные уничтожить всё настоящее и всё будущее?

Интересно не то что присутствует ключ к этому сундуку памяти, но то что страшно подойти и открыть его.

Но как-же всё то что мы пишем в данный момент, или всё то что случится в будущем? Что случится с всем этим и тем? Где я сейчас? Что мне дорого? Куда я иду? Кем я буду? Где я буду?

Может всё-таки даже и не стоит беспокоится. Может быть надо просто жить как думаешь правильно.

Но, всё-равно страшно.

Я тебе не верю.

В комнате темно cлишком, слишком...
Много пустоты, я стал лишним.
Некуда бежать, ты успела
Все мне рассказать, что хотела...

Ветер за окном по привычке
Гонит облака, словно спичкой.
Солнце зажигать будет небо,
И наступит день, где ты не был.

Смотришь мне в глаза,
Сколько можно лгать,
Проще самому сказать об этом.
Что любовь была перестрелкой душ,
Мне стало скучно!

Я тебе не верю,
Ты - сон вчерашний,
Который мне пророчит слезы.
Я тебе не верю,
Ты - снег зимы прошедшей, он давно растаял...
Я тебе не верю,
Ты - солнце, утонувшее в воде холодной.
Я тебе не верю,
Ты - все, что было у меня,
Но я тебе не верю!

Спрятались в лесах наши птицы.
Время разорвать, сжечь страницы,
Где про нас с тобой,
Где сумела стать твоей тоской без предела.

Г. Лепс


Corporate World 101

Corporate World 101
One of the most exciting and interesting times of my life have started this summer, when I received a job (summer internship position) offer from a large consumer electronics company. With my Junior year behind me, I felt completely clueless of what the corporate world is like. Many questions terrified me and made me feel far from at ease. How would I fit in? What would I do? Which skill (out of my most random skill set) would I be able to apply and further develop? And in the most dreadfully whispering voice I can imagine: what if I fail to display my competence?

Confusion Dissipates
Two weeks went by, and while many if not most of my questions are left unanswered, I slowly started to put the pieces together in my head. I now realize that it's not very a simple system to understand, and for someone as clueless as I am (and probably the rest of the interns I work with), it takes time to adapt. Of course, the quicker the adaptation phase ends, the quicker I can start to understand which skills I can start developing.

Workflow Stabilizes
So far, I've gone through some technical training, did some random small projects, and even made some awkward mistakes. Thanks to all these, I have started to remember faces and names , get a general idea of where everything is, who everyone are, how to do or how not do something, what is appropriate and what is not, etc. To be honest, I didn't expect to be able to stuff so much of this stuff into my brain so quickly. I hope I don't fry the thing.

Culture
Due to an obvious and fairly valid internal reason, this company employs almost half of it's workers from a foreign race with way too many cultural differences. Up to half of the conversations I hear around myself every day are in another language of which I possess exactly zero percent of fluency. Most of the foreignly-themed interactions between these coworkers are happening right in front of me, and it makes me feel as if I am located in their country. It's a unique and fascinating experience. If this is not the best opportunity I will ever have to learn about their culture and language, then I don't know when is. It really makes me wonder if this is the third undecided language that I've always wanted to study (it could certainly help me better communicate with my coworkers, knowing how important communication is for a strong company).

Racism
Having about half of the employees from another specific race, as well as several minority workers, I had observed how an unpleasant dose of racism (and excessive foul language) is steadily oozing from the company's HR department's unavoidable loopholes and transforms into eerie tension between coworkers. If I am not subconsciously figuring out some sort of plan to fix this issue, then I truly feel bad for my wicked soul's final destination.

Fast Forward
I think that this journey have started splendidly, with many bumps and moments of accomplishment to come. As many of my questions are being answered, many more appear, but in a more organized way with a somewhat predictable outcome direction. I don't know if I'll end up being a good fit for the corporate world, but that's precisely why I am here right now -- to find out exactly just that. With nothing to lose and with everything to gain, I march on forward with the rest of us. Good luck and godspeed.